Why do I matter?

So many people tell me they didn’t feel worthy of putting money and time into their own personal growth and didn’t seek out therapy or life coaching until they thought about the impact they have on other people.  Here are some of their comments:

     “I wanted to feel better about myself, but I didn’t want to do anything that would take away from my family.  Then one day it dawned on me that every time I snapped at my wife and daughters I was hurting them.  So I looked you up and asked for help.  I was actually surprised at how happy it made my family.”

     “It was always my dream to find my real purpose in life, and I kept putting it off because my son needed this or my aging parents needed that or my friends seemed more desperate than I did.  When I bit the bullet and said to myself, “You need this,” I began to lighten up and wasn’t so anxious all the time, and I noticed that people around me responded so positively.  I was kind of shocked but looking back, I can see how I was never my best with them because I didn’t feel free to be who I really am at my core, and who I really am is so much more appealing to them than the way I used to be.  I’m more productive too and have lots more to give now.”

     “You know, I was always mad about the way my family treated me.  They made me feel like I was the one with all the problems and yet I didn’t deserve to reach out for help, like my life was supposed to revolve around them.  It took a long time, but I finally did it.  I knew I had to find a way out of that trap.  When I realized that I was the one keeping myself there and not them, I was able to rise above the fray, and it began to make a difference in my family.  Suddenly things were a little more peaceful for everybody, and when we do argue, I’m able to step back and see that I can keep the argument going or I can contribute to the peace process, it’s my choice.  We’re all calmer now and can talk.”

As these comments make clear, we all have an impact on other people.  If we’re grumpy or anxious, depressed or isolated, we affect the people we come into contact with, and not in a positive way.  We all make a difference in this world, and through our individual growth and centering we contribute to the world around us, often profoundly.

(For earlier posts not shown here, go to http://www.lablanche9.wordpress.com/.)