Do you have compulsions? Do I?

It sounds almost like a dirty word, compulsion.  But if we get really honest with ourselves, we realize that we all have compulsions.

Perhaps you have one that’s easy to recognize:  smoking, drinking too much, overeating, biting your nails, driving fast for that revved-up feeling it gives you, that type of thing.  Did you know, however, that all of us have compulsions which keep us from feeling free?  And that most of our compulsions we aren’t even aware of?

Take Carla, a woman I worked with in therapy several years ago.  She came to see me because of problems in her marriage and family relationships, and she struggled for months in the pursuit of strategies to cause her loved ones to treat her better.  But one day the light bulb switched on for Carla:  She realized that her own personality structure was standing in her way of making her life better.  It wasn’t her family that was keeping her imprisoned in misery; it was her own compulsive beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors.  And those compulsions were things she could work on and affect, whereas she had no control over her family members.  This is a form of enlightenment which is hopeful and life-giving.

The 12 Steps and the Enneagram are tools for becoming aware of your own compulsive patterns at deeper and deeper levels and then using that growing awareness to manage your thoughts, feelings, and behavior.  I find that these tools are useful in my own life — for developing self-understanding, self-acceptance, compassion for myself and others, spiritual depth, and discernment.

(For earlier posts not shown here, go to http://www.lablanche9.wordpress.com/.)