When we're being authentic with ourselves we realize that even on our "good" days we are not free from pain and suffering. What we typically call our "good" days are the days when we successfully ignore or hide our problems from ourselves. We distract ourselves from our distress, we bury it, we glaze over it, we lie to ourselves.
I'm not saying we shouldn't have fun or enjoy our successes, either large or small; I'm not calling for negative self-talk; neither am I talking about wallowing in pain. Here's what I mean:
To focus exclusively on what's going "right" is to deny a large part of reality and limit ourselves, just as the opposite is true: focusing only on what's "wrong" represents denial and self-limitation. Reality includes our entire experience, and that experience changes from moment to moment.
Life happens now -- here and now. Are we in touch with the here and now? Are we in touch with reality?
Right now I feel upbeat and at the same time I'm experiencing a little rumbling in my stomach. That's the reality. Taking account of the totality of my experience in the moment -- not judging any part of it but simply acknowledging what is there and being curious about it -- actually frees me to understand what might be going on with me in a variety of ways. It broadens my perspective and lets me get to know myself in this moment more deeply, more fully.
So I'm upbeat and my stomach is rumbling slightly. I'm curious. How is it that these two things co-exist right now? On gentle inquiry, I realize that I'm upbeat not because things in my outer life have gone particularly well; in fact, two appointments in a row have been cancelled at the last minute, I've received four phone solicitations within the past hour alone for services I don't need, and I just realized that I left home without the library book I wanted to return this afternoon. I see that I'm upbeat because I've treated myself with respect and fairness today; I've focused on doing what what I needed to do without pressuring myself. leaving me less vulnerable to frustration with outside forces. Just seeing that adds to my sense of stability and calmness.
And what about the stomach? Well, I believe the lunch I selected contained an ingredient that doesn't really work for me. And very quickly I realize that I knew it contained this ingredient before I ate it, while "hoping for the best." Now I see that false hope and behaving in a self-harmful manner led to this uncomfortable situation, putting my body in the position of needing to reject something. Thus the rumbling. So it becomes clear that I wasn't completely respectful and fair to myself today. I tripped up when it came to feeding myself. With this realization, devoid of judgment, I feel a growing sense of calmness throughout my being, even though my stomach isn't completely settled, and I notice a rising conviction to treat my body more respectfully, taking account of its actual needs.
That's reality in the here and now.
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