Each of us has a unique fingerprint and a unique place in this world. Each of us has a very particular and unique soul, distinguishable from all others, even though we are all derived from the same unified wholeness. In my own being I am unique and special, just as everyone else is. Then why is it that I so frequently and stridently attempt to prove my uniqueness to others and myself and to show disdain for other people?
If I have contempt for others or contempt for myself, I am denying the fact that all of us are manifestations of God on earth. We are special because we have a holy origin and are holy beings. Any sense of loss and emptiness I feel inside--even when it seems to be all about my need for connections with people and things-- is an indication that I have lost the connection with my own deeply holy nature, which is something I can't manufacture through my creativity but something I am being invited to seek through communion with myself in stillness and silence.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Lessons from Understanding Enneatype 3
Accomplishments don't make the man or the woman. I don't have to strive and achieve to become worthwhile. I am worthwhile because I exist, because at my very core I am an embodiment of all that is valuable and worthwhile.
Though being impressive to others and admired by them may feel affirming, I can really know my value only by affirming myself at my core. I am not my image. I am not what I project. I am not my exterior. I am valuable because of what is inherently me inside, and the only real affirmation is that inner experiential knowledge. My image won't help me to escape worthlessness, for there is no worthlessness to escape from.
Though being impressive to others and admired by them may feel affirming, I can really know my value only by affirming myself at my core. I am not my image. I am not what I project. I am not my exterior. I am valuable because of what is inherently me inside, and the only real affirmation is that inner experiential knowledge. My image won't help me to escape worthlessness, for there is no worthlessness to escape from.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Lessons from Understanding Enneatype 2
All of us need to be loved. In so many ways we do what we can to obtain love, whatever we believe is necessary in order to encourage it, be worthy of it, and hang onto it. The only problem is this: It's wasted effort, which diverts us from knowing that Love is already here for us. Love is here, throughout our being, pervading and enveloping us with its constant presence -- if only we would open ourselves to it and allow ourselves to know it in its fullness, depth, warmth, and richness.
Why all the unnecessary striving? Because we so easily close our eyes to the real Love that is there all along and look for it outside of ourselves, as if someone else can give us what we already have but won't face.
When we dare to recognize the Love that characterizes our being -- and dare to inhabit it and know that it IS us -- then love is not something we need; we don't have to become worthy of it, we don't have to grasp for it, we don't have to hanker after it, we don't need to manipulate anything or anyone to get it. It just is.
And that is beautiful.
Why all the unnecessary striving? Because we so easily close our eyes to the real Love that is there all along and look for it outside of ourselves, as if someone else can give us what we already have but won't face.
When we dare to recognize the Love that characterizes our being -- and dare to inhabit it and know that it IS us -- then love is not something we need; we don't have to become worthy of it, we don't have to grasp for it, we don't have to hanker after it, we don't need to manipulate anything or anyone to get it. It just is.
And that is beautiful.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Lessons from Understanding Enneatype 1
Goodness is real. However, it's not our personalities, or egos, which can attain real Goodness. They seek it nonetheless and ironically cut us off from what we most desire.
The very act of striving to be or do something "just right"--whatever it is we might want to be or do, and whatever it is we mean by "just right"--causes our personalities to become more crystallized--more hardened and unyielding. The harder a personality gets, the more of a trap it is. In trying to embody such Goodness, we build our own prison cells.
It's not that we shouldn't be Good. It's that we ARE Good, just as we are--a concept that is difficult for most of us. Until we come to experience our true inner Goodness, we tend to strive, turning our attention away from real Goodness and toward some idea we've put together (or which we have learned from our families or social groups) about what Goodness should look like.
The key is to turn inward and explore our deep experience. It's real and true, and it will lead us to know Goodness. Our feelings are our teachers.
The very act of striving to be or do something "just right"--whatever it is we might want to be or do, and whatever it is we mean by "just right"--causes our personalities to become more crystallized--more hardened and unyielding. The harder a personality gets, the more of a trap it is. In trying to embody such Goodness, we build our own prison cells.
It's not that we shouldn't be Good. It's that we ARE Good, just as we are--a concept that is difficult for most of us. Until we come to experience our true inner Goodness, we tend to strive, turning our attention away from real Goodness and toward some idea we've put together (or which we have learned from our families or social groups) about what Goodness should look like.
The key is to turn inward and explore our deep experience. It's real and true, and it will lead us to know Goodness. Our feelings are our teachers.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
The I Ching? What about the Enneagram and the 12 Steps?
There are so many pathways to knowing. My last post was about the I Ching, an ancient Chinese system of finding one's way regarding a problem, situation, or question, and now people are asking me, "What does this have to do with the Enneagram or the 12 Steps?"
Spirituality is about journeying into the self and finding love, unity, truth, and ultimately holiness there. In my experience, any map that assists in the journey is welcome. The Enneagram, the 12 Steps, the I Ching, and any number of other personality/spiritual systems are exactly that; they are maps. Sometimes my inner compass points to a different map from the one I'm most accustomed to using -- just like we may know that there are certain features of Google Maps that are especialllly helpful at times, even though we are generally well served by MapQuest and stand by what it has done for us.
All of these personality/spiritual maps require that we settle into the depth of ourselves in order to take in what they have to offer. Sure, they can be used superficially, for fun, or even for manipulative purposes. But when we truly open ourselves to self-discovery, then whatever tools we use are likely to provide us with something which is personally meaningful. That's because internal inquiry is what really matters; the maps just guide us in the inquiry.
Spirituality is about journeying into the self and finding love, unity, truth, and ultimately holiness there. In my experience, any map that assists in the journey is welcome. The Enneagram, the 12 Steps, the I Ching, and any number of other personality/spiritual systems are exactly that; they are maps. Sometimes my inner compass points to a different map from the one I'm most accustomed to using -- just like we may know that there are certain features of Google Maps that are especialllly helpful at times, even though we are generally well served by MapQuest and stand by what it has done for us.
All of these personality/spiritual maps require that we settle into the depth of ourselves in order to take in what they have to offer. Sure, they can be used superficially, for fun, or even for manipulative purposes. But when we truly open ourselves to self-discovery, then whatever tools we use are likely to provide us with something which is personally meaningful. That's because internal inquiry is what really matters; the maps just guide us in the inquiry.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Renewing with the I Ching
Today I was moved to get out my I Ching materials, which I had not worked with in some time. It felt important to explore it again, and the time opened up for me to sit down and be with it in the absence of distsraction or pressure.
The I Ching is an ancient "divination" tool, which helps to focus one's higher self, or inner knowing. It has its complexities, but it didn't take long to refresh my mind, and very soon I took a deep clearing breath, sensed my arms and legs and their relation to the ground, the desk, and the materials, and asked a heartfelt question about a recent decision and whether it was right for me.
The answer came, loud, clear, and refreshing: Renewal, stripping away the old, a need to accept that this change is indeed necessary, that my path would not allow it to be any other way... and that it will eventuate in greater closeness between me and others who are especially important to me.
Another deep breath... this, a relaxing one, a knowing one, breathing in the knowledge of my truth having been spoken. I felt it so deeply and happily.
The I Ching's message doesn't bring a false hope that the way will always be smooth or that life will be fully of only happy moments. What it gives me is an opening to my own understanding of my needs and how to fulfill them internally.
It feels dramatic and yet soft. It feels true.
The I Ching is an ancient "divination" tool, which helps to focus one's higher self, or inner knowing. It has its complexities, but it didn't take long to refresh my mind, and very soon I took a deep clearing breath, sensed my arms and legs and their relation to the ground, the desk, and the materials, and asked a heartfelt question about a recent decision and whether it was right for me.
The answer came, loud, clear, and refreshing: Renewal, stripping away the old, a need to accept that this change is indeed necessary, that my path would not allow it to be any other way... and that it will eventuate in greater closeness between me and others who are especially important to me.
Another deep breath... this, a relaxing one, a knowing one, breathing in the knowledge of my truth having been spoken. I felt it so deeply and happily.
The I Ching's message doesn't bring a false hope that the way will always be smooth or that life will be fully of only happy moments. What it gives me is an opening to my own understanding of my needs and how to fulfill them internally.
It feels dramatic and yet soft. It feels true.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
When Life Gets Difficult
There isn't one of us who hasn't experienced snags, potholes, or real crises in life. Even with a positive outlook or a strong spiritual foundation, no one is immune to problems. Smoothness just isn't a characterisic of life, and neither is a steady sense of cheer. It's normal to experience anger, frustration, sadness, anxiety, fear, loneliness, valuelessness, and all the other emotions with which we respond to stress.
Not only is it normal to experience these feelings about our difficulties, but our feelings can be the vehicles for working on them most sanely. When you feel an emotion, it carries with it some fundamental information about you. It offers a way in to your deepest intelligence. And that deep intelligence is what will help you meet your problems in a grounded, calm, clear, and courageous manner.
My work with the enneagram has taught me that all feelings are useful when approached as vehicles for self-understanding. This is one of the ways I work with people in therapy and coaching sessions, and the results are staggering. It's about helping clients find their true center even when they've been thrown a curveball, even in the midst of otherwise overwhelming demands, even when it seems that the worst-case scenario has become real.
On getting in touch with our true centers, we know that hope, peace, strength, and love abound. No matter what.
Not only is it normal to experience these feelings about our difficulties, but our feelings can be the vehicles for working on them most sanely. When you feel an emotion, it carries with it some fundamental information about you. It offers a way in to your deepest intelligence. And that deep intelligence is what will help you meet your problems in a grounded, calm, clear, and courageous manner.
My work with the enneagram has taught me that all feelings are useful when approached as vehicles for self-understanding. This is one of the ways I work with people in therapy and coaching sessions, and the results are staggering. It's about helping clients find their true center even when they've been thrown a curveball, even in the midst of otherwise overwhelming demands, even when it seems that the worst-case scenario has become real.
On getting in touch with our true centers, we know that hope, peace, strength, and love abound. No matter what.
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